High-pressure, fast-paced environments breed ambition and creativity, but they can also foster perfectionism. Whether you’re a software engineer coding late into the night, a tech startup founder fine-tuning a pitch deck, or even an avid tech enthusiast chasing the “next big thing,” the relentless drive for excellence can start to feel like a heavyweight. You want your ideas to shine and your contributions to stand out. But why does pursuing success often leave you feeling inadequate, stressed, or stuck? Prioritizing your well-being and wellness is essential in navigating these challenges, and Ellen Hendriksen’s book, How to Be Enough, dives right into this phenomenon. With insights that feel like therapy for the overachiever’s soul, it offers much-needed clarity and tools to help you regain balance.
Perfectionism’s quiet grip
While perfectionism can seem like an asset from the outside, it has a deceptively harmful core. It’s not about striving for success; it’s about a constant belief that you’re not good enough. This belief can appear in many ways, including quietly in innovation-driven industries. Take project leads delaying launches, not because the product isn’t working but because every small imperfection feels insurmountable.
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Or team members holding back ideas during brainstorming sessions, afraid their contributions won’t meet imagined standards. These habits don’t just stifle productivity. They also undercut confidence and connection. And the effects aren’t unique to the tech world. Creatives, analysts, product designers, and even those who tinker with tech as a hobby can feel this burn. Sound familiar?
Shifting away from self-criticism
Ellen Hendriksen proposes a major mindset shift in her book. Instead of letting harsh self-criticism guide you, she suggests meeting yourself with self-compassion. This doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It means treating mistakes and shortcomings with the same understanding you’d offer a friend. Imagine you’ve been working on a side project for weeks. During the last round of testing, it crashes in front of a potential supporter.
Your perfectionist brain might say, “I’m not cut out for this. Why did I even try?” Hendriksen argues that this is the inner critic speaking, not the truth. What would happen if you told yourself, “Mistakes happen. I can figure out what went wrong”? This small change in how you respond to setbacks opens the door to resilience and progress, making perfectionism less about unattainable standards and more about incremental learning.
From rigid rules to real values
For many people in tech or similarly fast-moving fields, productivity feels bound to a rulebook you wrote before realizing it. Thoughts like “I have to know every detail before presenting in this meeting” or “I must always over-deliver, even at my own expense” can make you feel trapped. Hendriksen suggests replacing these rigid rules with values.
What matters to you? Is it innovation? Collaboration? Creativity? You’ll find more flexibility and energy in your work once you shift focus from the narrow confines of arbitrary rules to values you genuinely care about. For instance, rather than saying, “I should never make mistakes,” try reframing this to “I value experimentation and learning through failure.” This approach frees you to focus on real progress, not fear of judgment.
Authenticity in high-stakes environments
The pressure to appear polished and in control can feel overwhelming in a competitive or innovation-driven setting. Hendriksen’s work highlights how authenticity, rather than the veneer of perfection, creates stronger connections and greater satisfaction. Imagine a leader running a high-stakes product launch meeting. They could project certainty and perfection at the cost of seeming untouchable.
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Or they could admit to their team, “Some parts of this launch are still a work in progress, and I’d love your insights.” The latter approach doesn’t just show honesty. It encourages collaboration and openness, making the whole team stronger. This truth applies beyond corporate tech offices. Whether you’re an independent app developer, a science teacher using tech to enable STEM learning, or a student presenting an innovative concept, vulnerability and authenticity builds trust and engagement far more than a perfect façade ever could.
Progress over perfection
Hendriksen’s book also tackles procrastination, a habit many perfectionists fall into. Overthinking or fear of failure can make even starting a task feel daunting. The solution? Take tiny, actionable steps. Instead of listing a big, intimidating goal like “Design the whole app,” break it into bite-sized pieces. “Sketch out the login screen,” “Research similar user interfaces,” or even “Open the design tool” becomes a manageable first step.
Small wins snowball into meaningful momentum. This advice applies whether you’re launching the next big startup, preparing for a STEM fair, or writing a blog post about your latest VR experiment. Taking small steps prevents the paralysis that perfectionism creates.
Striving without exhausting
The beauty of Hendriksen’s approach is that it isn’t about giving up your ambition or dialing down your aspirations. Instead, it’s an invitation to pursue excellence in a less rigid, more sustainable way. Tech aficionados and professionals thrive on creativity, problem-solving, and pushing boundaries.
But staying connected to your values, giving yourself room for missteps, and focusing on personal authenticity clears the path toward achievement and well-being. Whether you’re debugging code, designing a groundbreaking product, or balancing your tech projects with your day job, How to Be Enough offers valuable insights. Blending practical advice with the principles of wellness and self-compassion feels like therapy in book form, helping you align success with emotional well-being. The book has resonated with readers across the board, earning an impressive 4.7 stars on Amazon and 4.1 stars on Goodreads. These ratings reflect the real, practical value others have found in its pages.
If you’ve felt stuck in the pursuit of impossible standards or caught in the endless cycle of procrastination and self-criticism, this book could be the reset you’re looking for. It’s not just a guide for tackling perfectionism. It’s a reminder that you can grow, innovate, and thrive without wearing yourself down. Why not take that small first step? Pick up How to Be Enough and see how a kinder mindset could unlock new possibilities for your work, relationships, and yourself, all while promoting wellness and balance.
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