Conflicts arise in any space and situation. The workplace is not spared from casual issues between coworkers. Although the usual disagreements are normal, resolving those might not be as easy, especially when one or both parties prove to be difficult. Between two parties, one or both may use manipulation techniques to get what they want. Manipulators often use the DARVO strategy. It is to deny, attack, and reverse the victim and offender. To equip you against it, here are some methods used when manipulating others.
Gaslighting
Thrown around in social media these days, the term “gaslighting” refers to making arguments to make the other party doubtful, confused, or guilty. In a professional setting, when one employee complains about the unfair treatment of workers, the offending party may argue that no such thing is happening. Gaslighting makes the victim question reality, resulting in invalidating their feelings.
The Psychology Of Manipulation You Should Know Before It's Too Late:
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Triangulation
How would you feel when someone you are in an argument with told another person to back themselves up? This is how triangulation works. The perpetrator may tell a one-sided story to other parties or even lie to attack the sole victim. It can also be done by trying to make an inexistent conflict between two other parties to get out of the spotlight.
Projection
Jealously is a common denominator in a competitive work environment. When the workplace is in talks about promotion and salary increase, jealous parties may accuse those who have a good relationship with the bosses of being sycophants. This is actually what one would call projection when the accusing party “displaces one’s feelings onto a different person”.
Reverse psychology
Reverse psychology happens when the offending party urges the other to do something contrary to what they want them to do. For example, if a team leader doesn’t want to approve an employee’s request for leave, they may tell the team member to go ahead and have fun, while the workload piles up. This will cause the employee to be conflicted and even feel guilty.
Love bombing
A romantic relationship isn’t the only situation susceptible to love bombing. If an employee showers their co-worker with gifts and compliments because the annual employee evaluation is near, it is considered an act of manipulation. The offending party would expect to get something in return — in this case, a promotion or work favor.
Aggressive jokes
Hurtful jabs dressed as harmless jokes can fall into this manipulative tactic. The offender often shifts the blame to the victim by claiming that they are just too sensitive and that they’re just easily offended. This can result in gaslighting too, making the victim feel they “just imagined” the whole thing.
Countering manipulative tactics
Psych Central describes dark psychology as “a broad subject involving the study and application of psychological principles to manipulate, influence, or control people in harmful ways”. Sometimes, manipulation tactics are so subtle and minimal that the victim won’t be able to see it until it’s too late. However, by learning to identify them, one can take the first step in fighting this unethical behavior.
"Organizations can ensure healthier and more harmonious working conditions by recognizing the signs of employee manipulation and implementing strategies to counteract it." – Cody Harrell & @GBWPP https://t.co/KzhXDxS5pq pic.twitter.com/Ap7yyNW3rL
— Society for Personality and Social Psychology (@SPSPnews) May 11, 2024
Be wary and intuitive
Be observant of another person’s intention towards you. Manipulators often display self-centered behavior. They would only care about what they have to gain without thinking about the possible damage to others. By knowing which signs and behaviors to look out for, you can better evade and process the situation.
Keep it calm and professional
One thing that manipulators thrive in is getting a reaction out of their targets. When the other party gets emotional, manipulators see it as an opportunity to bury them even deeper. The more they ruffle feathers, the more satisfied they are. While it may be difficult in extreme situations, remember to keep things level-headed and professional. It would also help a person decide and act better if they are in a calm manner.
“Grey rock” method
Medical News Today defined the “grey rock” method as “becoming as uninteresting and unengaged as possible so that the other person loses interest.” By not acknowledging the manipulative actions being committed, the manipulator may feel that their efforts are getting nowhere, and it might prompt them to stop. Although no formal study has been conducted on its effectiveness, it can be a tool worth trying to get manipulators off one’s back.
Get personal and professional help
If the manipulator’s tactics are starting to get out of hand, it’s better to tell someone about it. Start with the people you are comfortable with, like family and friends. If the situation escalates and starts affecting your well-being and mental health, it may be advisable to seek professional help.
Conclusion
The negative effects of manipulation come into play “when someone uses this skill to coerce others, as opposed to persuading them, it becomes unhealthy and even dangerous in certain situations”. Manipulative tactics that can cause harm to others are inexcusable. It can often be disorienting being at the receiving end of the spectrum. However, by understanding how individuals behave, we can find better ways to understand them and deal with them.
Photo credit: The feature image is symbolic and has been taken by Sagar Dani.
Sources: Anna Smith Haghighi (Medical News Today) / American Psychology Association / Darius Cikanavicius (Psych Central) / Psychology Today / BetterHelp / Kristen Fischer (WebMD) / Thomas E. Ford (The Conversation) / Nancy Lovering (Psych Central) / Zawn Villines (Medical News Today) / Jamie Cannon MS, LPC (Psychology Today)
